Smile Like You Mean It
by Frostie1
Summary: Rory's married to Logan. They've got a little girl, but Rory's not around much she's of the being the journalist she wanted to be until now...
1. Mommy's in Africa

Mommy's in Africa

"Daddy why are you sad?" My Dad looked back at me, I was only eight yet I could still see the sadness in his eyes. He scooped up in his arms and drew me close to him, not answering my question but letting me know he loved me. Eventually he answered he told me he wasn't sad and that he was happy, and out on a brave smile a smile I could see through, it was all bravado, it was all for me.

The next day he took me to the hospital all through the drive he was silent and looked straight ahead I asked questions but I don't think he heard them. When we got there he lifted me into his arms, I was eight, I didn't need carrying, I didn't tell Daddy that, he needed me there.

In the hospital we wandered through corridors the hospital smell found its way up my nose, I didn't like it but I didn't say anything, Daddy hadn't spoken since we left our house. He looked really tired, the way Mommy looked when she got home from one of the country she's been working in.

Daddy put me down on the floor. We'd reached a closed door. Daddy put his hand on the handle, I expected him to go straight but he just stood there it felt like days but I know I could have only been minutes he gripped my hand tighter as he turned the handle.

When the door opened I saw a room, it was very white, and at the side of the bed that was in the middle was a cup of coffee, apart form the coffee the room was empty of anything personal. The machine, which was connected to the woman that lay in the bed, was beeping steadily.

I looked up at Daddy, expecting instructions or a hint of what to do, but Daddy just stood there tears falling from his eyes, looking at the woman in the bed. "Daddy don't cry" I told him, in a voice that was barley a whisper, but he didn't seem to hear me. I'd never seen Daddy cry before Daddy was always strong he always wiped my tears away when I cried, but he never cried.

His crying unnerved me and tears began to drop incessantly from my eyes, and unwillingly a sob escaped from my mouth. Daddy was forcefully brought back to earth as my sobbing increased; in sound and persistence. He took me in his arms and rocked me gently our tears mixing as they fell to the ground.

"Why are you crying Daddy?" I stuttered through my sobs. He paused and studied me carefully wondering how to break it to me, in the end he decided on simple and honest.

"Because that's Mommy" he said pointing towards the bed. That's all he said I looked at him but he wouldn't look at me, so I looked to the bed, I didn't look like the Mommy I knew.

"That's no Mommy" I laughed "It can't be she's in" I paused trying to remember what far-away country my Mommy was in now, "Africa, I think it's Africa"

"She came home" he said still avoiding my eyes, I couldn't understand I couldn't get my eight year old head around what was happening. I jumped out of Daddy's arms I crept carefully towards the bed, when I got there; I poked the woman laying in it and said "Is that you Mommy?"

"Logan?" she murmured.

"Rory?" Daddy whispered hardly daring to believe what he heard.


	2. Questions?

Questions?

_There are questions in my mind_

_Questions I don't know how to ask_

_Questions whose answers I'm not even sure I want to know_

_Not questions about the universe_

_About why we're here_

_or even who put us here_

_But questions all the same_

_These questions press on my heart_

_Pressing harder with every beat_

_If I knew the answers would I wish I didn't_

_If I asked the questions would I wish I hadn't_

_To ask the questions would be to put my heart on the line_

_Answers I'm so desperate to hear_

_Yet questions I'm terrified to ask_

_What would my answers be if the questions had been asked?_

I heard Grandma's tap on the door, I saw her face look through the window and I saw the pearly tears drop from her eyes, nobody else saw, Daddy was asleep and Mommy was barley well enough to keep her eyes open.

Grandma walked through the door; she kissed Mommy's head and began to stroke her hair unaware of anyone else present in the room. She was in her own little world, a world that was made of her and Mommy. I was just an outsider watching what was going on, tears fell from my eye's, I tried to stop them, but they seemed to have a will of their own.

I didn't like crying it showed weakness and knew I had to be strong for Mommy; my tears weren't going to mend her. I had to be strong. Grandma soon realized I was present and scooped me into her arms rocking my gently as if I were baby, she whispered incoherent things into my ear, but I let her, it was her way of coping with what had happened to her precious Rory, My Mommy.

My Mommy was a stranger to me, I didn't see her often, she lived in different countries, I saw her more often on the T.V. than in person, but I didn't feel sorry for myself I was proud of my Mommy. She was my hero.

Daddy stirred his eyes flickered open; he caught sight of Grandma, and quickly shook himself brushing away any traces of sleep left behind. He stood up and greeted Grandma; I could see the tears glistening behind his weary eyes. Grandma still held me close. The grown-ups whispered using words that sounded scary.

"Is Mommy going to die?" I managed to choke out, it felt like a huge ball was stuck in my throat and my face was wet again, I worked out I must be crying again, it had happened so much lately that it was becoming the norm. I was scared of the answer they were going to give me; I wished I'd never asked the question, it would have been better left unsaid.

Daddy and Grandma stumbled with their words shocked by my bluntness. I wanted the answer so badly, I wanted to hear Grandma say "Of course not honey, Mommy's going to be fine" in her sing-song tone I loved so much. Yet neither of them said anything, Silence reigned in that small room, the tension pressing against each heart, that was beating.

Finally Daddy broke the silence "I don't know, I really don't know" he whispered into the floor.


End file.
